1. Ongoing fighting and arguing about the same or similar issues
Arguing and fighting (not physically) occur naturally in a relationship and are even healthy to some degree. However, when these conflicts arise out of the same issues repeatedly, they start to build a pattern of tension and self-protection in a relationship. This will curb communication and can easily lead to emotional detachment from your spouse.
2. Emotional detachment
The “spark” in a relationship is from the emotional attachment you feel with another person. A person can physically be there for you, but if they are not able to connect with you on an emotional level, a detachment starts to occur. Emotional detachment can occur for many reasons and is normally a strong indicator of trouble in a relationship.
3. Feeling like you must “walk on eggshells” often
Avoiding conflict in a relationship and feeling like you must be careful with what you do and say around your spouse can be a major issue in a relationship. This does not promote safety in the relationship, which means problems will most likely not be worked out. There may be appropriate times to wait and address a problem with disagreements but it should not occur often or persist in a relationship.
4. Receiving or engaging in constant monitoring
Technology makes it easier than ever to monitor all kinds of things, including our spouses. There can be many reasons this occurs but normally it means trust is lacking in a relationship. The tracking and monitoring of your partner will not build trust, and this pattern will continue until the relationship ends. There are many good reasons people may start monitoring their partner, but this will never heal the relationship injuries that have occurred. Trust is a key component of a relationship, and it needs to be built to enable a strong marriage.
5. Lack of physical connection
Intimacy is a key ingredient in strong relationship and has both an emotional and physical component. Many times, when a marriage is “in trouble” the couple’s sex life is the first item impacted. The reason behind this is our intimacy is related to how secure we feel with another person. If we do not feel secure, it is much more difficult to engage in any type of intimacy. If it has become harder for you or your spouse to engage in physical contact, sexual or nonsexual, this can be an indicator of disconnection in the relationship. By working through relationship challenges, intimacy develops and it becomes easier to engage in both emotionally and physically.
If you notice any of these signs and want to get more information or help with your marriage, please contact us.